Doug easily jimmied open the door to Harry’s office with a credit card. “I bet he left his desk unlocked. He was in a hurry to meet Lucy at Elby’s Big Boy for strawberry pie.” Lucy was Harry’s wife, a great looking blonde with a top-heavy figure and dainty feet who owned the only Christmas store in town. That made her something of a celebrity because Wheeling was the kind of town that prepared for Christmas all year long.
Doug was right, Harry’s desk was unlocked. We quickly rifled through papers, folders and half-finished crossword puzzles until we found the manila envelope marked VIP PASSES. Just as Doug grabbed the envelope, we heard footsteps.
“Don’t know. Get behind the door.”
I got behind the door we'd just jimmied open, and pressed myself against the wall.
“Hey, Doug! What are ya- sales manager now?"
It was my old friend, the elevator operator.
It was true that ever since the station held the big meeting about what does, and what does not constitute a hostile work environment, my old friend had stopped cursing at me whenever I was in earshot. But I could tell every time he looked at me he was swallowing bile.
“Yeah Carter!” Doug said. “Didn’t ya hear? Lucy openin’ up a big Christmas store in Pittsburgh and Harry’s moved up there to help get it open.”
I noticed for a country boy, Doug was pretty cool under fire.
Carter grunted. “Yeah, right, Harry’s gonna trail around after a woman... Although I’ll have to admit, that Lucy is..."
While Carter went on about Lucy, I heard Doug slide the desk drawers shut. I figured if I could just stay pressed against the wall long enough for Carter to dissect Lucy's anatomy to his satisfaction, he'd wander away, and Doug and I would be home free. But just as Carter finished his analysis of Lucy’s ankles, the air conditioner fan kicked in, and the door I was hiding behind swung shut. I was exposed as the VIP Pass “Taker” that I was.
“Hey!” Carter shouted, clearly in shock. “What’s going on here?!” For a guy who weighed close to 250 pounds, he could really jump.
“Hi, Carter!” I waved and smiled. "How are things going in the elevator? Everything OK?"
But Carter was not to be charmed. He directed his attention to Doug.
“Doug! Does Helen know about this?”
"Know about what?"
“This! Her! The lady salesman.”
I think Doug actually staggered at this point. "Whoa Carter! It's not what you think...”
“Well, what is it then? Me finding you in here alone after five, that's one thing. I know you, Doug, almost from Kindergarten. But you bein' in here with her! And her hidin’ behind the door! That’s another thing!” Carter's shock had quickly turned into righteous indignation.
“Look,” Doug said, “we were just checking for some ad copy we needed right away for a spot we're doin'. Harry forgot to give it to us. See?” Doug picked a blank piece of paper off the top of the desk and stuffed it in his back pocket. “Come on Carter, you said you knew me from Kindergarten!”
“That’s right.” Carter went on, “And I've got to say I’m surprised at you." He pointed in my general direction. "But I'm not surprised at her!” Then he whispered, “She’s not from around here.”
Stepping closer, Carter zeroed in on the envelope in Doug’s hand. “What you got there? Are those Jamboree in the Hills tickets? Did she make you to go in here and get 'em for her, so she could sell ‘em or somethin’? Give 'em to her friends?"
For once I wished I'd spread it around that I hated country music.
“What? These? Of, yeah, they should be in Harry’s desk.” Doug pulled open a drawer and threw them in.
“See? They’re in the desk,” Doug pointed, “where they should be……. So that’s it, Carter. We have the copy we needed, so we’ll be goin’ now.”
“What just a second, Doug.”
Doug waited. I did too.
“You know I work hard.” Doug nodded. I did too.
Doug nodded. This time I didn’t bother.
“And now Jambo's so popular I can’t even afford general admission tickets, forget about me ever getting VIP passes." He looked sideways at Doug.
The conversation was not headed in a promising direction.
Carter continued, “Ya know, I’d hate to upset Helen, us goin’ back so far an’ all. And it’s not like I’m one to pass judgment, or anything like that if somethin’ really is goin’ on with you two….”
Carter paused for six excruciating seconds.
“………but I sure would love to hear Jerry Lee Lewis sing Great Balls of Fire while sittin’ next to Ronnie Milsap backstage.”
Doug hissed. "Carter, what exactly do you want?”
“Nothin’ much. Nothin’, you can’t get your hands on.” Carter pointed at Harry’s desk, then looked down at his feet and shuffled a little before continuing. “Just two VIP tickets.”
Reluctantly, Doug went back to Harry’s desk, took two VIP tickets out of the manila envelope, and handed them to Carter. “Carter, for the record, nothing is going on here.”
“What?” Carter said, transfixed by the two tickets in his hand. “Yeah, oh sure. Right. Hey Doug! Do you think I could get one more ticket for my niece, she loves Carl Perkins.”
“Don’t push it, Carter,” Doug said.
“OK, OK,” Carter said quickly, fondling his VIP tickets. “Just thought I’d ask…. Well, like you said, looks like we’re all done here, so let’s lock up and get out of Harry’s office. Anybody for strawberry pie?”
Carter looked over at me and smiled. “Ladies first.”
So Carter the elevator operator, the man who looked like he was tasting bile every time he glanced my way, ended up with my two Jamboree in the Hills VIP tickets.
And Joe was still balancing on a bubble about to burst. But we came up with another plan.
To be continued in Chapter 3-“The Other Plan"
