Story so far: The Old Saleswoman's new job at WWVA depends on collecting payment for a mobile broadcast at Ron Small's Mobile Homes while the broadcast is still on the air. But when the Old Saleswoman tracks Ron Small down to collect, he's in the middle of trying to save a sale, so he ignores her and continues making his pitch.
“The mines always go like that! They’re open, then they’re closed, you know. Hey! I know I can get you financed, no problem…… Why make the landlord rich? Kiss him good-bye!”
As I listened to the deal fall apart, I repositioned myself in front of the door. I had to get paid today. Cash would be best, but a check, even if it bounced, would buy me time. I shouted out the door and called for Lou to come in and join me. I hoped Lou’s presence would make Ron more willing to reach for his checkbook when I asked for payment. At this point, I even considered calling in the fake Boxcar Willie for extra leverage.
Lou popped his head in the door “What’s up?”
“Lou, I brought a few more albums with me. They’re in the first bedroom. You want to grab a few? And bring out something special for Ron’s customers.”
“That’s right Lou, get something special for Chuck and Donna here,” Ron added.
Lou returned with a couple of Staler Brother albums and handed them to Donna.
“Now that’s nice,” said Ron. “Some good country to listen to when you’re soaking in that garden tub together.” He rubbed his hands together.
Again, Chuck told Ron they had to think about it.
“But can’t you imagine you and your wife….”
“Hey Ron,” I jumped in. “I need to talk to you about something.” I lowered my voice. “The check?”
Lou pretended not to hear. He continued to examine the back of the album covers with Donna. Unfortunately, Ron pretended not to hear me either, and brushed past me, escorting Chuck and Donna out of the mobile home to continue their discussion without further interruptions.
“Gee Lou, thanks for your help in there.” I pushed the sarcasm as far as I dare.
“No problem,” Lou answered calmly. “Glad to help. The albums were right there.”
I got in my car and headed right to the mall, which served as my third place before I’d even heard of such a thing. I paced for fifteen minutes and decided I needed help.
“Doug? This is the new saleslady. Do you have a minute to talk to me? Or maybe you can meet me at the mall?”
“I’m married and I have a wife and a dog.”
“Yes, of course, I know that and respect that. Helen is your wife's name, right?"
There was silence, so I continued. “Doug I need some help.”
I gave him a recap.
I could hear him put the phone down on his desk and shout. “The new saleslady’s been burned by Ron Small. He's putting her out of business, at the remote.” I could hear the laughter in the background. “What do you think?”
I waited a painful minute for Doug to return to the phone. “We’ve taken a vote. Meet us at the diner next to Ron Small’s in 20 minutes.”
The plan was simple. My job was to stake out Ron’s office. Boom knew Ron’s pick-up, so he was assigned to cover it. Joe covered the back exit out of the lot, and Doug parked his car across the front entrance.
As I approached the yellow double-wide I saw sudden movement behind the fichus. It was Ron. I shouted, “Ron! It’s me! The lady from the radio station! I need a check!!!”
Ron glanced over his shoulder at me and started walking double-time across the lot toward his pick-up. Joe shouted, “He’s on the run! He’s headed for his vehicle!”
Boom, who was squatting in the bed of the pick-up with just the top of his head visible, popped up too soon and gave Ron time to change course. He took a ninety-degree turn toward the back entrance. When he saw Joe’s car parked across it, he made a 180-degree turn, heading toward the front entrance. But Doug’s car was there, so he backtracked into the rabbit warren of mobile homes.
I tried to keep track of him, but I lost sight of him, and we had to break into search parties.
After 15 minutes of slamming doors and splashing through mud puddles, Doug shouted. “I have him!”
We all converged on a light blue single wide, leftover from two seasons ago and specially priced at $9,999.00 because of some moderate water damage.
Doug was talking calmly to Ron. “Listen, Ron, this saleslady needs paid! She’s no hoopie. She works for WWVA. But if you don’t pay her she’ll be out of work. I know you don’t want that.”
Ron murmured sympathetically.
“Now come on out from under the table.”
We all watched in silence as Ron crawled out from under the kitchen table and took a chair.
“Business hasn’t been so good lately.”
“Look, we understand these things. Just give us a few hundred today, and the saleslady will be back next week, and the week after, and the week after that, till she has the rest. At least that way, the new saleslady can keep her job.”
And that’s what I did. I went back week after week until I got the full payment and I was able to keep my job.
Of course, I was very, very grateful to the sales guys and promised myself I would make it up to them at some point. That point came about a year later.
Next Story: "Wheeling Revisited, the Old Saleswoman Pays Back"
Chapter 1- VIP Passes
